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The pod knot

(2002) LESION MOVIE #4

Mr. Pod finally ties the knot, only to discover that marriage is a deadly bore. GUEST STARS: Diana Henry as Cheryl and Owen Comaskey as Richard Balty. Movie 1 of 4 from The Lesion Lifestyle Experience.

to live as a woman

(2004) LESION MOVIE #10

As a desperate ploy to sell CDs, Venison is tricked into having a sex-change operation by Piss and Dr. Hurtz. But it's Mr. Pod who delivers the most unsettling wake-up call in this bittersweet hats-off to gender ambiguity.

This new remaster by director Dr. Gustave Hurtz has significantly improved video and audio. Contains hideous footage of plastic surgery as well as coming attractions hosted by Jesus and a never-before-seen post-credits scene. Guest stars: Lenny Williams as "Lady" Venison, Joe Porletto as band manager Burt Tinkle, Adam Hurwitz as Dr. Connie Cotton, and Mick Stingley as Jesus.

broken karaoke

(2002) LESION MOVIE #7

Dr. Hurtz overdoes it at karaoke and loses his voice. Then he loses his job. GUEST STARS: Jim Wisniewski as Fred, David Hollander as Dr. Grip and Pete Kress as Lord Coca Log. Movie 4 of 4 from The Lesion Lifestyle Experience.

death takes a piss

(2002) LESION MOVIE #6

When an antiquities appraiser tells Piss that Napoleon's penis will make him invincible, he decides to smoke it. Then he dies. Will the Angel of Death cut a deal to let him live again? GUEST STARS: Tom Cardamone as Death and Zoe Schneider as Fatima. Movie 3 of 4 from The Lesion Lifestyle Experience.

shush, shush, sweet schatzi

(2004) LESION MOVIE #9

Piss Promise smokes the world's most powerful weed, then hears the voice of God commanding him to turn LESION into a Christian rock band. Features the music video for "He is The Rock" by German church-rockers LESSON. GUEST STAR: Zoe Schneider as Moonjava.

This new director's cut remastered by Dr. Hurtz, features improved audio and video, as well as never-before-seen footage!

rare tongue

(2002) LESION MOVIE #5

After overdosing on anti-depressants, Venison goes on a terrifying, hallucinogenic "freak-out." GUEST STAR: Adam Hurwitz as Dr. Shove. Movie 2 of 4 from The Lesion Lifestyle Experience.

monkey rump

(2010) LESION MOVIE #22

A LESION fan is hideously disfigured after acid is splashed on his face by a crazy person, and the only available donor tissue is from a baboon's dead, red ass. Will a skin graft save his dignity or ruin his life forever? Find out in this chilling LESION Halloween yarn starring Piss Promise and Dr. Hurtz, with guest stars Adam Hurwitz (as Burt Bacharach), Cassie J. Sneider (as Carole Bayer Sager), Paris Mancini (as the crazy acid lady), along with a very special appearance by Mister Pod!

This sparkling digital remaster by Dr. Hurtz features upgraded video and superior sound quality.

the anti-santa

(2002) LESION MOVIE #8

Dim-witted super-patriot George W. Bush reluctantly gives Mrs. Santa Claus the go-ahead to have Santa lobotomized. Now it's up to LESION to perform the operation, save Christmas, and rock the yuletide.

a horse called clusterfudge

2019) LESION MOVIE #25

Finally, the long-awaited sequel to LESION's 2002 classic GROUPIE.FUCK.FACE. is here! Has super-groupie Musho infiltrated LESION by posing as drummer Venison? (Spoilers: yes.) Also features an animated interlude starring everyone's favorite vampire Mister Mofungo! Special guests: Joe Lazenby as Musho, Joe Porletto as Burt Tinkle, and Kirsten Ulve as The Universe.

This new digital remaster by director Dr. Gustave Hurtz features improved video and superior sound quality.

burnouts!

(2018) LESION MOVIE #24

LESION is offered a billion dollars to play a reunion show. Can Dr. Hurtz get the band back together one last time to rock the ass off New York City?

groupie.fuck.face.

(2002) LESION MOVIE #3

Piss is kidnapped and tortured by an obsessive groupie. Meanwhile, flaccid record sales force lead singer Dr. Hurtz to get a facelift. This classic LESION movie took home awards for Best Narrative Under 30 Minutes and Best Screenplay at the 2002 Arlene Grocery Picture Show. With special guest star Joe Lazenby as Musho.